Ladavian — See Me Because

“I sing in front of people a lot, but all I do is think about my brothers. They’re not with me. They’re in foster care.

The biggest place I’ve sung is The BMO Harris Bradley Center. I sung at - I think it was a talent show. I was singing Whitney Houston - and what song? I Will Always Love You. I did win third place. But it was fifty people there, so it was good to get third place.

I didn’t know I could [sing.] My voice started to develop at, like, around eleven. I was like, “Oh, I be killing it.” My momma used to be like, “Stop that noise!” Then, I started hearing myself, I’m like “Oh, I sound good.” Then, that’s when I start in the shower, like, [singing.]

I try to stay in art schools, because when I was in these regular community schools, it was not for me. I stay in trouble, because I got a slick mouth. At the art school, they keep me occupied with orchestra - because I play the cello - and with drama, singing, all that stuff. So, like, I don’t have to worry about stuff like that. But they still got academics - that I’m passing. But, yeah.

That helped me when I was in foster care, too. I just - let’s get this over with. When I’d just listen to my music, I’d sing with it, and it helped me.

Something about music - all types of music. I like all types of music. It just makes me zone out, and I’m focused to stuff. When I sing with it - me and my sisters had a whole jamming session yesterday. We was just laying down, and that’s when she just started singing, and I started singing with her. Then, we standing up. I’m just singing, killing it. And they like, “Keep that noise down.” But we just - music have us positive all the time. Positive energy - GVO: good vibes only.

I try to stay positive. I try my best to, like, not forget about my three little brothers. However old I get, I will never, ever forget them. Even though they probably - that’s a big probably - have forgotten me, I will never forget them.

[In the future,] I see myself with my brothers, of course. Having a job that’s got something to do with music. Or being a lawyer. My whole family together. I’mma make sure of that. Making sure everything’s good - kosher. Try my best. I know I’m one person, but one man can change the world.

Going off my personal background. It’s probably other kids that want to see their brothers and sisters, but can’t due to the bureau, the government, transportation, the CPS [Child Protective Services.] I think if I have a program which has permission from all the people - the governments, the high-standing people - and I can take those people to see their family. And not just the transportation, but help their parents get their house in order, get them housed, get them clothes for the kids, so they can be able to get they kids back to the house. We can supervise it if it’s something wrong, but I’m sure, even if they mom or dad have disabilities, they still want to see they child. Help the parents get stuff in order. So, like, the government can say they’re fit - they’re fit for their kids. So they can go back home, and I’ll be like, “I did that.” That’s also a good feeling.

I live in the hood, on 23rd and Burleigh. It’s a lot of shootings. The place I was with foster care, it was peacefuller, but it didn’t feel peaceful to me, because I’m not where I want to be. Even though I’m in the hood, and it’s a lot of shootings, killings, when I’m with my parents and family, I feel safe. But my community, even though they be shooting the kids, I try to stay away, but, like, we be singing on the block, be killing it. It’ll be me, my sisters, a boy across the street. We call ourselves “Young and Gifted,” and we just sing. Nobody give us money because [grunts] - but we just sing. And we’ll just - everybody’ll just stop, and like, “Good job!” And we just kill it. But that’s - that’s like the good side of the community, but at night, it’s a different story.

I just want [people] to see me, for them to know that I’m more than where - I'm more than just where I live and the expectation that they expect from a young black male in the hood. I want them to know that it’s more than just gangs and shootings and all that. It’s cello, singing. I want them to know that it’s - I’m more complex than what a lot of people expect. And I think some people, like the teachers, they thought of me as being bad because of my history. So they got low standards of me. So when they start seeing my test scores and all that, and seeing me at all these performances, they’re like, “Oh, Ladavian? What? I can’t believe.”

Don’t underestimate.”

Milwaukee, 2018